Whole-body listening, revisited
As a kid, I got in trouble at a lot for not using whole-body listening.
If you’re familiar, whole-body listening is this thing they tell kids they need to do in order to focus and be respectful when someone else is talking. It involves…
- Eyes on the speaker.
- Hands quiet and still.
- Feet quiet and still.
- Legs folded and still.
- Body facing the speaker.
And if you have ADHD, you probably are already saying to yourself, “yea, no fucking way!”
Eye contact makes it harder for me to pay attention, not easier. If I have to sit still and not fidget, all of my energy goes into that instead of listening.
I was thrilled when someone I know recently shared this article from Julie Carter Law on whole-body listening, revised.
Here’s what Julie’s suggested new model looks like…
- Eyes closed, open, or looking wherever helps you learn best.
- Hands fidget, flapping, doodling, staying still, or doing what helps you listen.
- Feet walking, moving, staying still, or doing what helps you listen.
- Legs walking, moving, staying still however is comfortable for you, or doing what helps you listen.
- Body moving or not moving, and facing a direction that helps you listen.
You’ll notice all of the elements of the old model are still in there.
But they’re not the only options. Julie understands and acknowledges that everyone is different, and you should do whatever you and your body need to do to pay attention.
For me, that’s staring off in the distance while fidgeting a pen or elastic, or staring at my notebook and doodling. Often, it involves bouncing my feet or twisting a bit in my chair.
Your whole-body listening approach probably looks a bit different. And that’s exactly the point.