The big, awful, good-for-nothing day
Yesterday was awful.
Whether you live in the United States or not, this week’s election is going to have rippling global consequences for years to come.
And for the first time in a long time, I found myself without words.
When ADHD brains feel overwhelm, we sometimes go into what’s called a freeze response. We don’t fight. We don’t flight. We just pinwheel like a possum.
For the first half of the day, that was me.
For some of my ADHD friends, emotional dysregulation kicked in. Anger. Profound sadness. Loss. An inability to stop crying. But me, I just felt numb.
By the afternoon, I’d kicked into talking to process my emotions mode.
Sometimes (often), in order to process my thoughts and feelings, I need to say them aloud and bounce them off other people. I can’t just keep them inside. So I did just that. It helped a bit.
But by the end of the day, my lack of impulse control kicked in.
My ADHD bias is towards doing. I need tasks to keep my brain occupied and engaged, or I get bored.
I live in a very liberal state, in a very conservative town, and a lot of my local friends had expressed feeling alone in a sea of neighbors they don’t trust.
I spun up web forum for my local community, spent some time getting it configured, and started inviting people. And that’s when I started to feel more whole.
I still feel awful. Things are still going to be bad.
But when you have ADHD, your unique mix of empathy, impulsivity, and rejection of authority makes you someone who can do a lot of good during a bad time.
Pull people together. Speak truth to power. Build a community.
A lot of the good that happens in the coming years is going to happen in smaller, local pockets. You can be a big part of that, if you want to. And if you don’t have the mental energy, that’s fine, too.
After all, it’s been a big, awful, good-for-nothing day, and it’s only going to get worse.