Romanticizing ADHD
Over the weekend, I had a conversation with someone who had just been diagnosed with ADHD literally the day before, and they weren’t feeling too great about it.
I told them that I hoped they would eventually see ADHD as a gift rather than a curse. They told me (I’m paraphrasing)…
I don’t like romanticizing mental health disorders. This one has caused me problems my whole life.
There’s so much to unpack here, and I think this is really important to talk about, so let’s do that today.
Romanticizing versus embracing
I don’t romanticize ADHD. I talk often about the ways it makes certain aspects of my life harder.
But I do believe my ADHD brain is no better or worse than a neurotypical one. I’m different, not worse.
I advocate for radical self-acceptance.
I want you to love yourself and your ADHD brain as much as I do, because you’re fucking awesome!
A lot of folks in the ADHD community hate the phrase “superpowers” because they feel it ignores the very real challenges ADHD can create. But every superpower (both literally and in comic books) comes with a tradeoff. ADHD is no different.
You have stuff you’re better at than the average neurotypical person. You have some stuff you’re worse at.
Embracing ADHD means viewing those strengths as gifts, and leaning into them instead of trying to “fix” the things you suck at.
ADHD isn’t a mental health disorder
Standard “I’m not a doctor” caveats here, but ADHD isn’t a mental health disorder directly. Your brain chemistry is different, which makes your brain work differently.
And in a neurotypical world, that can result in some mental health challenges.
The mismatch of “how your brain works” and “how the neurotypical world wants you to work” can result in anxiety and other conditions, especially for folks who are diagnosed as adults and didn’t know they had ADHD their whole life.
Because our ADHD brains often struggle to regulate emotions, we can feel the cognitive pain of that disconnect more acutely. Some of us also have comorbid conditions like OCD.
The flip-side of that lack of emotional regulation is that you often have a far greater capacity for empathy than a neurotypical person.
It’s the superpowers thing again. Every strength has a weakness. Every weakness has a strength.
ADHD is a spectrum
I know not everyone has has the same positive experiences with ADHD that I have.
I don’t want to invalidate those lived experiences at all.
ADHD traits operate on a spectrum, and for some folks, the challenges those traits create is a lot greater than what I’ve personally experienced.
If you have a more recent diagnosis, though, it’s also possible that because you didn’t know you had it, you’ve internalized a lot of really negative feelings about yourself and about ADHD in general.
Internalized ableism is a real thing, and undoing it is hard work!
You’re not worse. You’re different. And you’re amazing!
To quote the amazing Mr. Rogers, I love you just the way you are!