People need people
A few weeks ago, I was on a trip in my camper and had stopped at a gas station in Georgia to refuel.
I saw someone sitting on the curb making a sign asking for money, so I walked over and gave him $40, figuring I would be gone by the time he was finished with his sign.
He looked me in the eyes and started sobbing.
I don’t know if I’ll ever forget that mixture of pain and relief on his face. I’ve had a lot of interactions with unhoused folks over the last few months, but nothing quite like this.
We had just stocked the fridge and pantry in our camper, so I made him some lunch and sat down to chat with him for a bit.
This poor man was so utterly broken.
Most of the unhoused folks I’ve interacted with recently work in a small group so they have some communal support. They have people to talk to, and help if they’re having a bad day.
This guy is by himself, and you can tell he is so, so lonely. As soon as I started really engaging with him, I got his whole life’s story.
He’s a veteran who is struggling to get help through the VA. He’s disabled. People keep stealing his shit. Someone recently stole his cane, and he had to crawl to Walmart to buy a new one. He was $4 short.
I spent most of our conversation reassuring him that he is not “a bum” (his words) for being in this situation, and that he shouldn’t “feel so embarrassed” (again, his words) after the country he served and the systems that were supposed to protect him completely failed him.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so broken by an interaction before. I’ve thought about him every day since.
People need people.
The unhoused are often starved of human connection. It’s easy to walk by them and pretend they don’t exist. It’s easy to hand them a few dollars and keep walking.
But a lot of unhoused folks are deeply lonely.
If you can, stop and take a few minutes to chat with them. Ask them about their day. It feels insulting, given the situation, but if you genuinely care about the answer, it makes people feel seen.
And most importantly, just listen. Let people talk. Validate their humanity. Don’t offer empty platitudes like, “It’ll get better soon!” But make sure they know their worth as a person isn’t connected to their current situation in life.
It’s not nearly enough. But it means so much.
To quote Dungeon Crawler Carl…
You will not break me, fuck you all, you will not break me.
Now get out their and spread kindness.